The volcanoes welcomed me to Guatemala before I had even landed. As our plane descended into Guatemala City, they stretched across the horizon, rising above the clouds and taking my breath away. Throughout the next two weeks they became constant companions, framing the roads we traveled, peeking over villages, and reminding me that this landscape was very much alive. It seemed only fitting that I would eventually experience one up close.
Hiking Acatenango to watch neighboring Fuego erupt is on nearly every "Top 10 Things to Do in Antigua" list. You can roast marshmallows over volcanic vents, cook pizza using the earth's heat, and spend the night watching lava illuminate the sky. Unfortunately, I didn't have the time—or, if I'm being honest, the grit—for the overnight trek. Instead, we found an ATV tour of Pacaya, another active volcano that offered incredible scenery without requiring a full expedition.
After about an hour's drive from Antigua, we were dropped off beside a quiet road and led to a small garage where the ATVs were waiting. The first part of the tour wound through the nearby town and around a lake, giving everyone a chance to get comfortable behind the handlebars before climbing toward the volcano. As we gained elevation, the scenery changed dramatically. Trees gave way to hardened lava fields, and Fuego and Agua dominated the horizon.
Eventually we reached a gate. Beyond it stood an entire herd of Brahman cattle. Without hesitation, our guide drove straight through the middle of them, and naturally the rest of us followed. The trail twisted between cows, over small hills, and through muddy ruts. Just as I crested one of those little rises, something splashed across my shoes, pants, and the entire right side of the ATV.
It wasn't mud.
The smell confirmed that almost immediately.
I pulled over, climbed off the ATV, and did my best to shake off the fresh cow pie. Somewhere during the excitement my hat had flown off, and somehow it had managed to collect manure on both the inside and the outside. There wasn't much to do except laugh. No cow was going to get between me and Pacaya.
The rest of the ride was worth every messy second. We crossed fields of black lava that looked almost lunar before reaching the highest point accessible by ATV. From there we had spectacular views of Pacaya, Fuego, and Agua. Every so often Fuego would release a puff of smoke, a quiet reminder that it remains one of the most active volcanoes in the world. Standing there, surrounded by volcanic landscapes, made getting covered in cow poop seem like a small price to pay.
As it turns out, though, the volcano wasn't even the messiest part of my trip.
A few days earlier, after wandering Antigua for hours in the afternoon heat, we found the only empty bench in Parque Central. Grateful for the shade, we sat down just as a woman approached us to sell handmade textiles. Halfway through her sales pitch I felt something wet land on my leg. A pigeon had perfect timing.
As I looked up, I realized exactly why that bench had been available. About fifteen pigeons stared back at me from the branches overhead. We politely ended the conversation, abandoned the bench, and retreated to a coffee shop for another mocha.
Apparently, the pigeons weren't finished with me.
My final encounter happened outside the school where I was leading professional development. I had stepped outside to enjoy the mountain views and get a little fresh air between sessions. In the middle of a conversation I felt another all-too-familiar wet drop land squarely on my shoulder. I didn't even have to look. I already knew.
People say getting pooped on by a bird is good luck. I'm still waiting for the payoff.
Thankfully, my new obsession with birding survived the experience. The hummingbirds, trogons, motmots, and countless other beautiful birds I encountered throughout Guatemala more than made up for a few unfortunate encounters with pigeons. Still, pigeons have officially earned a permanent spot on my travel watch list.
Travel is full of moments you could never plan. Some leave you speechless. Some leave you laughing. And some leave you desperately searching for wet wipes.
The crappy moments are inevitable. How you respond to them is what shapes the story you'll tell when you get home.
